Being Palestinian … Not Exactly . Being Jerusalemite.. And it goes to another Not Exactly !
Being a Non Exactly means you travel with a Non Exactly Jordanian passport and a Non Exactly Israeli document .. You are marked with a special non religious probably ethnic 6 number, that makes you Non Exactly special.
A certain treatment that starts with exclusive harassment and violations to what it means to be just a normal human being ..
Stares and gazes that are mixed with suspicion and criminalizing looks . Sympathizing and guilty gestures . Both from the same people … No matter how you try to behave like a normal being … You still remain Not Exactly normal…
A Non Exactly Striptease that takes a form of a Non Exactly taking off your clothes until you buzz in Non Exactly censored areas . Otherwise you are as well privileged to a Non Exactly massage service , that includes touching every single piece of skin that covers your suspicious figure … All in all Non Exactly any of the above mentioned services that you really like to offer or to receive under the given conditions .
The journey with being Non Exactly doesn’t start or end with the journey itself. With the preparation to leave this “havenly” engraved space . Unless for very limited places … You are Not Exactly capable of going anywhere without a definite Not Exactly defined status for your Non Exactly defined status ..
You are a Palestinian but without a Palestinian Passport , which you would say maybe it is not exactly bad. A Jordanian passport with a ” T” mark that makes it Not Exactly special. With a place of birth indicated as Jerusalem . And Israeli red (anything but diplomatic) traveling document that indicates your are Jordanian next to nationality slot .
So how to apply to a visa anywhere ???? It is a Not Exactly easy job, or answer .Especially that many if not most are not aware of our Non Exactly existing status . Even when checked in Israeli borders , those young inspectors may ask you if it’s your first time in Israel..
You travel with one Non Exactly document in hand and one in the pocket on each different passing border depending on the severity of the Non Exactly document you hold to the country of destination .. and you come back , and received with a seriously Non Exactly special welcoming .No matter how long or short the flight was . How convenient or tiring . If it was at noon or midnight ..You always receive the very same Non Exactly ,non exactly special service of another round of Non Exactly meaningful questions , and inspections that always takes you to a special room with another series of inspecting machines that according to your lucky stars could go as re inspecting every single item you carry , or a minimum of all luggage inspection through x-ray machines only.
In the meantime, a boyfriend or a partner who might not be privileged to be Palestinian , may wonder about your non exactly normal or not normal life , and give you the stigma of being a complaining creature when you are non exactly even a Jew.
Each time you will wonder … isn’t it better to just stay there in the non exactly luxury of just passing checkpoints ?
A non exactly moment of wondering