I have always romanticized my Islam, my Arab maybe Bedouin background even. The pilgrimage to Mecca as one of the compulsory ritual of Islam has been always a romantic ritual in my head. Being impressed with the masse of people in millions all gathered in one place saying labbayka allahumma labbayk, in a call of submission to God. I never understood why would we need to make all those rounds, but also like romanticizing Islam in a Sufi perspective, it made sense. Reaching up to the mountain and pushing to throw the devil has something that was also impossible for my romantic mind. How do we stone the devil? How does he look like? Does he really live in that wadi (valley)? This scene of people rushing to stone the poor devil, with al those stones that befall on him he will definitely be buried. They should make a ritual of throwing sand and earth on him not stones. Because stones will always give him a chance to breath, so he cannot really die.

It could be a ritual as sentimental and romantic as that of lighting a candle in a church. But then there are tough procedures that my romantic mind fails to comprehend.

All those sacrifices that are wasted. I know they are not. But the millions of slaughtered sheep and animals for the occasion can feed all the hunger of the universe.as we go to reach God, we end up following rituals, and no one would even dare to think of criticizing or not doing. You cannot be a hajj if you don’t stone the devil. You have to slaughter an animal now, not whenever you decide is fit maybe in your own country where people maybe starving all year long. You don’t question why men rush half naked and we are forced to see ugly meat through the nakedness and men pose with pride. Why do men have to be naked and women have to be covered. Why should I as a woman be shy from my creator?

So many unromantic, messed up questions are popping in my protestant head at the moment …

I don’t want to end up as the stoned devil with a name …

Happy Eid and Hajj Mabrour

2 thoughts on “my incoherence on Hajj
  1. You raise valid questions, but who will answer?


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