any title…

The current situation is leaving me with a strange sensation of numbness. A kind of frozen emotions. I cannot respond to all what is going on in the surrounding. As a result of a shock, non-believe, or desperation … I am not really certain.

The best way to survive it, if there is a survival is to continue my life pretending being a naïve observer, that I am, and attempt to separate myself from being part of the this inner circle of vicious reality, trying to find an imaginary hilltop while watching the scene.

This should be one of the peaks… again of course. The phrase “ it couldn’t get worse” is not in use anymore, because “it only gets worse”.

Taking a refugee on a hilltop and looking down, this is how it seems to my dreamy head; Israeli occupation continue in what seems to be the fiercest attempts of suppressing, oppressing, violating, disrupting, coercing, tyrannizing its unceasing domination over Palestinians in Jerusalem with what could be called an iron fist. Arresting children as young as two year old toddlers, and beating them and shooting with rubber bullets on the face of youngsters, sewage pipe spraying on houses and streets, a vicious campaign on penalties in any given possibility. Unjustifiable, inexcusable, indefensible sentences on Jerusalemites in any given occasion, that includes charges that lead to twenty years in prison for throwing a stone. This stone is really mightier than an f16.

From the other direction of the scene, Mahmoud Abbas is taking it all personal, too personal. But wait a minute, it is not Netanyahu’s accusation that points directly to him in being responsible in fostering the new “terror” of stone throwing and ramming. It is also not the violation, debasement, disgrace that is taking place in the coercive incursions over the Aqsa. It is also not the unprecedented land grabbing, new settlements announcements, demolitions, annihilations, destructions, continuous devastations enforced on people by the occupation.

It is the head of labor union and his big mouth that is annoying the president. It is not as if we have enough coercions that include our daily movement and lives. One cannot be a head of a labor union and recruit or call for a strike anymore, because the president didn’t like it. He didn’t just didn’t like it, he personally called for his (and his vp) detention. The two people were detained for many days before they were finally bailed with fearful condemnations and shallow requests to the release, or even understanding what went on. If this wasn’t enough, the Secretary General of the Palestinian Legislation Council was also detained, by the order of the President under the charge of “ using inappropriate words against the Prime Minister”.

I am recalling this, and I am thinking. … Oh … numbness… now I get why I was feeling what I am feeling for the last week.

Seriously, am I the only one who sees the joke here? Is it a joke or a catastrophe? Lets keep it under a joke, because the term catastrophe is exclusive for the occupation.

So, under the era of “black humor” of the Palestinian being, the president decides to detain, arrest three public figures, whom we agree that they are not particularly legitimate, under the current de-legitimate situation of the president himself. Since everything in Palestine has been long time due its expiration date, including the president himself. It only continues to be a joke, a darker joke, to know that the charge against the Union of labor was illegitimacy GIVE MY LITTLE HEAD A BREAK.

The detention of the PLC man was more of a prank. He is a Fateh “big” (medium) man, and why on earth would he speak badly or cynically on the poor Prime Minister? The president needed to teach him and his Fateh naughty “medium” men (after all he is in the revolutionary council, which makes him medium size) a lesson in respecting the “not sure if –he-is- Fateh” Prime Minister.

Of course Mr. President has other important issues on his agenda, aside from assuring the Israeli safety in his guarded zone, he has a busy agenda in criticizing Hamas and condemning and threatening … not threatening actually, it was his “big men” doing the threats for their latest suspicious actions against other “ leaders of Fateh” in Gaza.

Now, seriously,

I don’t know how can anyone take me seriously after this …

I am a Palestinian, like all the Palestinians that I know, except for those who ‘de’-represent us from all directions who take this cause seriously. I try to fight in my own naïve standards for the freedom of my people from occupation, by doing what I can from at least show their mean violations against my people. And here are the representatives of my people snatching one another from all directions while the occupation is out there grabbing, seizing, grasping land and lives.

The leadership is busy commemorating the death /murder of Arafat, and celebrating ‘independence’ … yes seriously, we have an “ independence day” that we declared in 1988. Arafat definitely didn’t have Oslo in mind when he announced it. But yes, we have an Independence Day, it is an officially celebrated day, and it is important to us.

Who needs a state after having an Independence Day? Actually we have also a State. Why are we complaining? Maybe this is what the President really believes in. We have a UN recognized state (with minimal status), but it is still a state. We have an Independence Day. We have a lot (really a lot) of security and police insurgents of all kinds and shapes. We (the President) are finishing a real presidential Guesthouse “palace”. The Muqata’ (headquarter) is new and surrounded with some strange new parking with no grass, stones and strange terrible architectural disaster. But it doesn’t really matter; it is a matter of taste.

Why am I numb?

That wasn’t fair.

Life in Palestine seems to be a serious attempt towards liberation …

I forgot Hamas and Gaza from my scene.

As you know Gaza is still under destruction, in rubbles, people are homeless, shelter-less, dispossessed, destitute, impoverished. The coldness and wetness of winter is no less harsh on the people than the harshness of the universe on them. But yet, Hamas has something to celebrate. Independence, or not, Hamas doesn’t recognize the Fateh Independence, and it doesn’t commemorate the death of the Fateh leader, Arafat in this case. So it finds other celebrations. It is not really important to know what (and I don’t), but they celebrate something. And it makes me wonder. How do people celebrate amid rubble? Isn’t every coin spent on this idiocy ought to go to the impoverished homeless nation of Gaza?

All this leave me in one question for all sides , Israeli Occupation , Fateh , Hamas “leaderships”;

This is the way you attempt to secure your existence in the future?