How many times can one be taken on the wings of a book towards a yet unexplored horizon?

Probably many ……

This could be the best gift of life….

The unfinished never-ending exploration of books… and of course those who wrote them.


A novel, translation, a book of history … it doesn’t really matter. One thing for sure will happen to the reader is the state of hallucinated ride on those and beyond the unexplored horizons of a reality that is so mixed with epic, myth and disturbed emotions of how the past is so unchanged from the present.


Azazil has been given to me as a gift from three different people who I happened to have just met in the last seven years. It was also recommended by almost everyone who read it, but somehow, when I started reading it back then it didn’t catch me. I felt lost in the details of a world that was so unknown to me, yet it spoke my language and was knocking on the very gates of Jerusalem and walking within its walls.

I admit, it felt an embarrassment…

I have those moments, when I don’t practically fit with the general taste.

Like my feelings towards the Palestinian poet Mahmud Darwish. I feel ashamed to say that I don’t really like him. In Darwish case, my judgment is not because of him, but because of how exploited his name and his verses has become by my people. Yet. He remains unique… and yet, it says a lot that such people remain unique … our culture is sadly not producing more of such legends… or they become legendary after they die.

My moment of embarrassment with Azazil was different … the book couldn’t get to me, and everyone was just claiming that this was a masterpiece of writing, and worse, people were just insisting that it is me who should read this book.

When I read “in the shadow of the snake”, I thought I made a bargain with my negligence. I fell in love with the writer, with the plot, with the characters. I even disregarded many of the obvious weakness in the expertise of plotting in that novel.

I just love it when an Arab author, especially a man (actually they are most men), can speak with such smoothness on the inner depths of women with a none “feminist” approach.

Feminism, and me is also a complexed issue. I keep declaring high and loud, I am not a feminist. I wouldn’t say I have anything against feminists. But I do have a problem in framing myself within a category from one side, and, having to be a feminist to fight for women’s rights from the other side. Being a woman is being a woman. My fights are about what I can and cannot. What I am and am not. What I want to be and don’t want. It is not about how equal I am with the man or not. I don’t seek equality with men. I don’t see me in a need of proving my capabilities and my “cans” and “cannots”. Being a woman is just like being a man … each with his \her own perfect and imperfect making that makes life… life.

After a recommendation from a trustful scholar and friend some weeks ago upon discussing Youssef Zeedan (the author), he said: this is a novel you cannot not read. It is brilliant in the making. Brilliance in the message. Brilliance in the way the writer maneuvered around it all within the pages and the critiques.”

This was an important factor for my provocation, especially that I have three copies of that novel staring at me on my shelves. Of course the recent stirs of attacks around Y. Zeedan were as well important for me to make my move in grabbing the book.

I just closed the novel with a breathless sensation in my mind that captured me for the last week, in the middle of being forced to study for a final in Islamic religious groups that squeezed my head and pressured my heart.

Questions that started from the first page and ended unanswered with the last;

Who is Azazil? Who is the author? Is the author the translator? Or is it the narrator? Is Zeedan Hypa? Or Is Zeedan the medium that Azazil facilitated for this time-machine exodus that forces us again and again and again into asking the same question of our living existence: the status of women. The influence of religion. And Azazil?

While the questions remained unanswered, and the wondering around the journey Zeedan made us ride is still shadowed by the dust of the last traces of the sandy deserts and the remains of whatever is left from that history within a stone or a monument, with the sounds of the hitting waves of those seas. Zeedan brilliantly positioned “women” in a masterly creative roles, that included her mastering the situation and having the power on nothing less but a creator, even though, she ended in the three times of her appearances in a sorrowful tragic destination. Octavia, the playful widow, Hypatia, the splendid scientist, Marta, the beautiful divorced singer, all made the best of who they were, without any attempt to pretend anything else. They filled his existence of emptiness that can only be full with one woman of those.

The power of women despite their never ending position of deterioration, inequity and extortion that history partnered in portraying and implementing, is challenged by “man’s” weakness and defeat despite the power that history portrayed him within and along has been implementing.

The manipulation that people assigning themselves as speakers on behalf of God, whether in a religion or in atheist believes? Men dressing God’s tailored rules of life on earth in accordance with man’s intention of control. A switch that continues to confuse us, either in a uniform of man of God or man of State. A state of living that still manipulates us, with different names and people. With different religions and cults. With different places and times.

And Azazil;

Whether it is a novel that destroys “religion” and mystifies the “weakness” in our satins or justifies them, or equalizes them, or simply identifies us with them …

Azazil… himself …

Whether responsible for the cruelty of this creation, or just an alibi for our own Conscience. As vulnerable and as unseen …as Azazil himself…. Remains the trigger that sends us to a slumber or awakens us with full consciousness, as the story of our lives, our universe, and our creation …goes on.

3 thoughts on “Azazil… and the story goes on
  1. A wonderful read — one of your most evocative posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nadia, my sister….

    Many would not agree with me, but, it is my distinct opinion, if we humans cannot get rid of ALL the religions/delusions under which Humankind has labored since the dawn of our time on this planet, we will never reach our true potential ,as individual humans, nor as a species which CAN survive the coming storms we have created for ourselves, with our complete disregard for the health and welfare of the Planet, instead of merely individual tribes, or countries, or people. If we do not come to an understanding of the ‘beast’ within us. that beast will consume itself in the end….

    Our end, as a failed species…..

    Nobody can find truth when they begin with false, or misleading data; every religion in the world depends on that very belief, they call Faith, in illusion, and, thus, has no real connection to the real world, in which the rest of the universe exists….


    Brilliant article, by the way…. as usual from you….

    gigoid, the dubious


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