#In the Shadows of Men


My mother gave birth to me in Jerusalem, and my first months were in Jericho. I am a sun-month born person. The flaming august as they call it. And in those years, summer was present with immense strength not like these days. We don’t know when it starts and when it leaves us. I was small in size; my weight didn’t exceed the three kilos. And my grandmother used to wipe me with olive oil and wrap me with a piece of cloth and pull it around my tiny body to strengthen my bones. And my mother used to put me on the terrace in the courtyard of the house and leave me until she finishes her house chorus. . And forget me … until my grandfather screams out: “ come and take her before the cat eats her.” No wonder my skin color was darker than my sisters. The rays of Jericho’s sun have brushed me for many hours, day after day to have my bones getting stronger and harder. But inside me was always what frightened me … slow down, you are a girl. Your steps should always be limited. You don’t need a man. But you will not be anything without him. No mater how hard you worked and your sisters to compensate your parents for the absence of the boy, you will never be able to fix this gap in your mother’s heart.

Published by nadiaharhash

Exploring my own Shoes ... somehow my walk , my way ... Being a woman is one thing . One important thing of originally two things. However, living in a global patriarchal dominance makes one thing dominant of another . A lifetime struggle of women resilience for being the one thing they are Women . All the resilience of being a woman is another ONE thing . For being a Moslem woman is another thing . Being a Moslem woman living in an Occupied land is definitely a totally other thing. What if you add divorce to this ? Being a Woman, a Moslem , a Palestinian and Divorced … makes the introduction to living in my shoes… Living in a Shoe of a Woman. PS. English is not my first language.. I know I often need to edit , however, there is something in the power of the 'click send' button.. ever since I did it the first time .. I enjoy clicking directly from my heart...unedited...

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