#In the shadows of Men

I worked in the years of my marriage to draw a family painting with lines I drew in articulate details and attention until I started seeing it hanging infront of me professionally adding to my life an ascetic sense of beauty like valuable belongings and collectibles that are followed by fans and interested mobs.

I was like a Sufi, modest from what fills the eyes of people, reflecting on manifestations that add to life a different meaning I was trying to reach. I was trying to reach without a religious fight or an ideological one. A state of escape forms the reality that our mind confronts us with when it starts questioning the absolute givens. And in order not to fall in the hollowness of atheism from top of belief. We choose with full consciousness from somewhere in our minds a place for manipulation or maneuvering to another way, less problematic and filled with spiritual manifestations that we hide behind and call the human spirit.

We let go of what our bodies do and what our minds indicate to us. Or most probably, what is already filled in our minds from previous ideas that have been poured inside cement blocks .so we choose to ascend to that place that is no existential. And that feeling that is unfelt necessarily within the fogs of our thoughts within a crazy Sufi dance that they call manifestations. A place we choose, and we consciously deny in order not to stop in a confrontation between what we raised upon from beliefs, which its destruction may make us stand nude. So we choose what we can fix from the surfaces, pretending that we are fixing from within. Whereas in reality we are not even close to the inside. Because the acquired change is not a change in the peels and not in the surroundings, the change that is needed is in a reconstruction. And for reconstruction we need to demolish, and demolition acquires a lot of moving, shaking, cleaning and re digging and burying and bringing in new components that are different from the previous ones.