As I am sitting gathering myself, watching the news and checking out on people that I know including my son. Forcing myself to eat in an attempt to be eligible for blood donation, while am suffering from side effects from anti depressant pills that were prescribed to me after a recent panic attack that forced me to withdraw. I feel that the only thing left is to write amid this bloody, chaotic situation.
Since the closure of al Aqsa last week, things were only taking a deteriorating encounter. Israeli occupation forces insist on going on with their plan of seizing control on al Aqsa area, in an attempt that is not hidden to split the space between Muslims and Jews. A scenario we witnessed after the massacre of all Ibrahimi mosque two decades ago.
The Israeli plans in seizing control are apparent, and amid a state of frustration from the Palestinians in their leadership, Israel thought the moment is ripe to take action while the Arab world is busy fighting among itself. And Jerusalem is already a seized city where Israel has the upper hand in every single movement. In instant roads can be blocked and checkpoints are raised, and any Palestinian is a possible target for killing and sabotage in any possible way to the different Israeli forces, from police to army.
But somehow Israel keeps forgetting that there is a limit to what a population can take. That despite the stabilization that is taking place, there are still people out there who are ready to fight for their lives to protect this city.
It is not about religion or holiness. IT is about rightfulness. We do have the right to access our places as free as we want to do that. Al Aqsa is a symbolic place, not for Muslims or Islam. It is a symbol of this city. It is the pride and crown of this location.
In a moment as this Israel shows its real ugly face of what it means to be a force of occupation. The treatment of people in the streets, the hitting, the shooting, the killing … It will never pull back the aspiration of freedom from people who genuinely seek to be free.
Israel has stolen our land, our sovereignty, our history, but getting as close as al Aqsa is like raping our children in the middle of our homes.
As mothers did not have even time to bid a final farewell today for their children who left forever, I look at myself as mom and think, how the misery and the pain that this cruel state of occupation only insists on enforcing.
Today the scene of stealing the corpse of the martyr from the walls of the hospital was agonizing. The minimum of burying a body with some peace is even denied.
Just for being Palestinian walking in Jerusalem means that you may be violated an getting killed.
It is a state of awe. Injustice . Pain . We feel helpless. There is something that is sucked out of our lives as human beings. This feeling that we are here to live in dignity . in freedom. Even the freedom of fundamental freedom, movement, prayer, solitude in a holy place is raped.
We live in a situation where walking in the streets of the sanctuary of Jerusalem is a heroic act that can be the end of our lives.
As I am putting this together , and trying to catch a moment when my body will have the power to pull itself together and go stand or walk in solidarity to a city and people who are paying their lives because they happened to be Palestinians who want to enter their mosques without an Israeli fascist soldier strip him or her of her clothes.
Freedom is not something that anyone can grant. Freedom is an aspiration. And we want to live in a freedom that we were born to have.