reflections on reality

 

بنات فلسطين كتاب لامل قعوار يرصد النضال الفلسطيني بنسائه منذ ايام الانتداب حتى التسعينات . ومذكرات النسوية الاولى لعنبرة سلام الخالدي ، يحاكي احاسيس ونضالات المرأة الداخلية وسبل تحريرها 

فما بين الكتابين كانت كذلك سيرة ليلي خالد التي تابعت حياة ليلى في السبعينات ، وتكلمت كثيرا عن الوجه “الفدائي” للنضال الفلسطيني .

وفي الجانب المقابل للكتب المكدسة بقراءاتي المتقطعة لا تزال يوميات خليل السكاكيني تنتظر رجوعي. فتوقفت في مكان بدا لي غير مبشر ،استعصى في مرحلة ما على فهمي ، عندما وجد نفسه منفيا الى سوريا.

هكذا كتب لا يمكن قراءتها بدون الولوج فيها بشخصانية كبيرة . وما يحدث قصريا . فعادة ما نتعاطف مع كاتب او مع بطل الرواية ومع مكانها واحيانا نربط الحبكة ونشبهها بحكايانا.

الا ان هذا النوع من الكتب والاخص السير الذاتية ، يحاكي المكان نفسه والصراع ذاته ، والاشخاص في اغلبهم مرت اسماءهم وعائلاتهم على ارفدة حياتك . فالقدس تحديدا صغيرة وفلسطين ليست اكبر بكثير لتترامى اطراف حكاياتها .

ولكن ما كان اقوى من شعور الاثارة الذي يربطك شخصيا باماكن السطور وشخوصها ، فلقد تعرف فلان ولقد تكون سمعت عن علان ، ولا بد انك تعرف المكان الذي تصفه العبارات والتي تتحدث عنه الكثير من الفقرات . قد يرافقك شعور بالاقتراب او الاغتراب من جملة ما او فقرة او كلمة . فإن الشعور الاقوى الذي يعصف بك هو تلك الحقيقة المفككة المبهمة عن واقعنا . فهناك حقائق برؤوس اقلام واضحة ومعرفة تربينا على حفظها ومعرفتها وحتى انها سكبت في عقولنا وجمدت واغلق عليها . فلقد يجتمع الواقع العربي والفلسطيني على تعريفات مؤرخة في تلك الحقبة التي علمت مع بداية القرن العشرين . فهناك انهيار الامبراطورية العثمانية ووقوع فلسطين في صحن الانتداب البريطاني قبل  الالتهام الكامل للامبراطورية الراحلة فيما بين افواه الاستعمار الغربي. وهناك النكبة الفلسطينية والنكسة وحرب الكرامة وصبرا وشاتيلا واعلان الاستقلال واوسلو.

فيما بين تلك الوقفات التاريخية التي شكلت ما نعيشه بهذه اللحظات من فتات تلتقطه افواهنا نحن مما تبقى من حلم بوطن عربي وآخر تحرير لفلسطين ، تكمن الحقيقة المبهمة التائهة منا . وكأننا بوعي اعصبنا اعيننا عنها نثرنا عليها اغبرة الزمن لكي لا نرى حجم المصيبة التي نعيشها حتى تجلت امام اعيننا كما تتجلى اليوم.

فالواقع الحالي من فتات وشتات ودمار ليس صنيع المرحلة الحالية فقط. ليست مصادفة ولا غضب الهي تلك الانهيارات المتتالية التي يتسابق فيها انهيار الكيان العربي. فنحن شعوب لا نعرف الا التعامل مع الحاضر بردات فعل لا تتعدى النحيب والصياح والشجب وتقتصر رؤيتنا على ما لا يتعدى انوفنا وننشغل به . ونرفض بشدة الرجوع للماضي والتعلم من اخطائه ونصر وبشدة بأن الأسوأ مستحيل لاننا شعوب الايمان بقدرة الله واصطفافه مع حزبنا هو الغالب فينا .

ويبقى واقعنا الهلامي كالفقاعة المرمية على الارض بعد الاستمتاع والانبهار برقصاتها المحدودة والمؤقتة في فضاء نتحكم تماما بمجاله قبل السقوط الابدي الى التراب. نستمر في نفخ فقاعات جديدة موهمين انفسنا ببهاء الرقصات المائية المؤقتة ، وما نلبث نعي الا اختفائها . ولكن الحقيقة الكامنة والمتربصة لنا بفقاعات تفجيرية مليئة بالكبريت والسموم وليس الماء والصابون . وكأننا اعتدنا عليها ولا نزال نصر على حالنا المؤقت.

وحالي لا بد لا يختلف عن حال الاكثرية التي دأبت على تسكين الامها ومواجعها بعدم المعرفة والسعي وراء قوت يومها ، لعل وعسى ، لان ما يلحق بنا لن يقدر على خلاصنا منه الا الله . وبالفعل ، فرحلتنا الى الله ظهرت بالحركات الاسلامية التي استمرت بالتزمت والتجرد من الله حتى اصبحت ما نراه اليوم من داعش وتحت لواء الله.

وبين ألوية الله المختلفة والمتعددة التي ننتمي جميعا اليها ، لا تزال الحقيقة ملقاة لتشكل قمما داستها اقدامنا ولم نعد نعرف شكل وقيمة وهوية الميت الذي دفنناه .

ولعل مرور الزمن من جهة ،وتعقيد الامور من جهة اخرى جعلتنا مع استسلامنا مقعدين حول انفسنا بلا حراك

.ما فعلته بي تلك القراءات يشبه النبش بالمقابر . وكآني ابحث عن عزيز فقد في زمن ما ودفن في مقبرة جماعية تم اكتشافها حديثا. وفي رحلة البحث عن هويته ،تبدأ رحلة معاناة كل تلك العظام المتراكمة بحثا عن قبر يليق بالتضحية التي قدموها اولئك الذين قضوا من اجل نفس القضية التائهة منا .

بينما احاول رصد الحراك النسوي في تلك القراءات ، التقرب اكثر من معاناتها وحروبها في كسر القيود والتحرر. رأيتني كتلك النساء استسلم تماما لمصيري ولا اجد بديلا عن ربطه بقضية الوطن . فكما استمرت المرأة الفلسطينية في تأجيل قضاياها من اجل القضية الاهم وهي تحرير الوطن ، هكذا استبعدت وتلقائيا قضايا المرأة البديهية المستعصية من اهتماماتي.

فبينما كان الغرب يقترب من افتراسه المحكم ووضعنا بين فكيه ، كانت النساء لا تزال تناضل من اجل التجرؤ على نزع الحجاب. والحجاب في ذلك الوقت لم يكن مقصورا على غطاء الرأس ، بل كان غطاء الوجه . فعندما وقفت هدى شعراوي في محطة القطار مزيلة لغطاء وجهها ، كانت هذه من اعظم الكبائر . وعندما قررت عنبرة سلام الخالدي رفع الغطاء لتستطيع ان تقدم خطابها بلا تلعثم كان يحجبه الحجاب ، قامت بيروت ولم تقعد. ونسوا العالم بطش الاتراك المنصرم والانتداب الذي كان يقطع بهم اربا ، وكان رفع حجابها هو موضوع الخطاب.

في كل مرة كانت تصل فيه المرأة للخروج الى حريات بديهية ، كانت حرية الوطن تقف امامها وكأن ما تبغي الوصول اليه هو المهدد الاكبر للوطن .

واستمرت المرأة في مراوغاتها بلا كلل ، فلم تطلب او تبتغي يوما التمرد على الرجل . فبكل ومع كل محاولاتها بالتحرر من قيود الذكورية التقليدية ، كان للتقاليد الحصة الكبيرة في نهجها . فبقيت خطواتها بطيئة وتأخذ طبع المراوغة الذي ابدا لم يكن ليخرج عن طوع الاب والاخ والزوج . فالحقوق المبتغاة كانت حقوقا تستطيع فقط ان تنالها من خلال اعطاء الرجل لها اياها.  وترى السيدة الفلسطينية ابان الثورة في السبعينات بين رحلات الشتات للمقاومة ما بين الاردن وسوريا ولبنان ونزولا بتونس تجرأت على التحدي من اجل القضية . فكانت النتيجة الحرمان من الامومة والطلاق والعنوسة لانها ندرت نفسها للقضية . وما لبث الاعلان عن وقف المقاومة المسلحة حتى وجدت تلك النسوة انفسها  في اماكن اكثر ذكوره من الذكور لتحافظ على بقائها . فتحولت بنات فلسطين في تلك الجزئية الى بنات المنظمة التي حولتهم فيما بعد الفصائل الى ذكورهم. فذكرني المشهد وبطريقة محزنة بالخصيان في زمن الخلافات السابقة . فاصبحت تلك النساء التي ضاع شبابهن وجمالهن وانوثتهن من اجل قضية كفاح قدمن فيه مع اولئك الرجال المخلصين لنفس القضية امام خيار وحيد بالترجل عن حلم المقاومة والاسترجال للبقاء مع رجالات القضية التي ما لبثت ان تتحول من قضية شعب لقضية حفنة من الشخوص رددوا ولا يزالوا شعارات التحرر والتحرير حتى سئمنا الحرية وتفرقنا واياهم طوعا في القبوات التي اعدها لنا الاحتلال كل على مقاسه وانتمائه واحتياجاته .

واصبحت تلك النساء كالرجال تصيح وتندب وتشجب وتؤكد على استحقاقها لتاريخها النضالي العريق الملىء بالتضحيات لراحتنا نحن . فالاستحقاق الذي تم المطالبة به من بنات وابناء الفصائل بالرغم من ايفائه وبكل اسى من لحم القضية وارضها وليس فقط ابنائها ، لم تنل فيه المرأة الا الحصة التي رماها امامها الرجل . فلا الحصة الشرعية ولا تلك المناسبة لنضالها … تلك فقط التي املاها المجتمع الذكوري التي حافظت هي على بقائه واستحسنت بما ظنته دهاءا منها الحصول على بعض الحقوق فيه . فالمرأة الفلسطينية تشبه المجتمع العربي ، وتاريخه الحديث . تسعى بالاساس من اجل حقوق حقيقية وحريتها هي قلادتها التي تقسم بها ، ولكنها كالعرب في سعيهم وراء التخلص من الاستبداد ، تخلصوا من مستبد ليقعوا في معتد غاشم وهكذا دواليك .

قراءاتي لتلك السير الجميلة الحقيقية الهادفة الساعية فعلا وحقا وراء الحرية ، اوقفتني في اماكن تاريخية اخرى ، لا بد البحث فيها بوعي اكثر . وجعلتني اقف لاختم امام التساؤلات التائهة التالية :

تلك الفترة الاخيرة للخلافة العثمانية ، والتي رافقتها مذابح الارمن واليونان والاسيريين واستبداد وسفك للدم العربي من قبل جمال باشا (السفاح) ، الذي نجح باقناع العرب بدءا بالالتفاف نحوه للتخلص من السلطان عبد الحميد ، ليعوا وبسرعة فائقة بأنه كان كارها للعرب وحاقدا عليهم .وما تذمروا منه من تهميش بحقهم من عبد الحميد كان زوبعة في فنجان .فلا نزال نحن العرب نعتمد على المسلسلات التركية وسرايا عابدين لتكون منبرنا الثقافي لفهم التاريخ . فلقد نشأنا على كرهنا للاتراك والسلطنة العثمانية ،رامين وراءنا كل ذلك التاريخ العظيم للخلافة الممتدة في أرجاء المعمورة ، وكأجدادنا احتفلنا بما كان سقوطا لليبيا والشام وما صار يتردد على لساننا من “مستعمرات عثمانية على ايدي الاستعمار الغربي الذي فتحنا له اذرعنا وتحالفنا معه . لننتبه وبوقت قياسي اخر لا يحتمل الشك باننا تحالفنا مع الشيطان . فاصبح حليف الامس عدو اليوم ، وهكذا توالت علينا الائتلافات والمؤامرات وتشكل عالم عربي بني اصلا على باطل. ففي رحلتنا بالتخلص من البطش العثماني الذي لا افهم بعد كيف توقف عن كونه مسلما بالنسبة الينا ، رمينا انفسنا نحو خلاص مع عدو كان دائما معرف . فهل كانت تلك سذاجة ام خيانة ؟ ام ان القهر كان هكذا مستفحلا رمانا طوعا في حضن الشيطان ؟ وكم يشبه ذلك الحال حالنا اليوم . عندما يفكر المقدسي منا بالذهاب طوعا للحصول على الجنسية الاسرائيلية . حينما يتحالف المسلم في العراق وسوريا على اخيه المسلم مع المرتزقة او الامريكي المحتل او غيره من متآمرون ضده ولا يأبه الا بالانتقام او الهروب نحو خلاصه فقط. ما نراه في تناحر فيما بين الفلسطينيين بين فتح وحماس ، وما بين المصريين في شرخ قسم الشعب الى اخوان وغير اخوان . وبين حوثيين في اليمن شيعة يجب قتلهم وبين حزم امر عرب على التحالف على العرب انفسهم . بين ابتهاج وتهليل لمصائبنا التي غضضنا الطرف عنها في سبيل التخلص من الاخر منا الذي انتدبناه الد عداوة من اعدائنا .

وتساؤل نحو الواقع كذلك ، كيف تتكشف لنا الايام هذه عن خطة كانت منذ اليوم الاول يتم تنفيذها وكنا نحن العرب نضحد تصديقها واستمرت بالتكشف واستمرينا بالانكار حتى اصبحنا جزءا منها . فما اشبه ما نعيشه اليوم بالذي جرى علينا يوم ساهمنا بالتخلص من الامبراطورية العثمانية وهللنا لسقوطها واعلنناها العدو الاكبر لنا . وكحالنا اليوم نجري وراء فتات ما كان ارضا ووطنا وقضية . …

نعيش نفس التيه … ونمارس نفس الجهل … ولا نزال نقع في نفس الاخطاء والتي لم يعد لها تعريف الا بالخطايا ولا نزال نكررها وبلا حياء….  

Between Muzzling and burning cars … “infirmity” is the master of the situation

Between Muzzling and burning cars … “infirmity” is the master of the situation

The word “infirmity” appears to express it all. Somehow a certain equality in a term that modifies both sides, despite its absence, from the master and the slave in this situation.

Our lives as Masters and Slaves.

They are the masters and we are the slaves.

They are the powerful, the strong, the dominating, the ruthless, the controlling.

We are just followers who are harnessed for them, and for their sake: they can sacrifice us, enslave us, harness us for their interests and burn us if they wish, and set us as firewood for their warmth, after they exhaust all our benefits.

We have to accept with consent.

Keep quiet and mute.

Submissive and kneeling.

Fear, terror, and dread.

Ever since I started writing, I knew that every time, with every article, I knocked someone’s “comfort” as I knocked on the Freedom “Tank”. I was and will always believe that our liberation comes from our freedom, and our freedom requires us to enjoy a degree of awareness, knowledge, faith and dedication for what we believe in. Because free nations are built from societies whose weapons are morals and values and their ability to express and defend what is their right and know how to distinguish what is their duty.

Over the years I have written without fear. Every time I was afraid, I wrote more. And every time I feared, I wrote more. I believed that writing protects and immunes. I also believed that a free human is a fearless human. And my pursuit of freedom remains and continues to be a liberation from fear that shackles. There is no freedom in chains.

A journey that is neither easy nor will it be, and it cannot be. Freedom is dearly valued, and defending it is a sustainable business.

But … does the defense of freedom deserve to die for?

Does life deserve fear, terror and intimidation?

The day before I was exposed to what I might have expected one day. 

I know that with every word I write, it is like walking on embers. I am not a fan of playing with fire, but I do not care about the flames.

 I know how to avoid combustion.

 To live requires us to mingle with risks, if we aspire to live in dignity.

I grew up as a Palestinian, who was accompanied by the word “freedom”, ever since my feet first touched the ground.

 Liberty craves my emancipation for passion to live. 

How can I anticipate liberation from occupation, while there is no freedom granted to us as people, from the leadership that struggles for our assumed liberation? How can I resent occupation, fight for my liberation when my leadership muzzles our mouths and deprive us from the basic freedom of expression to express the need for a change or to stave off corruption that surrounds us from all directions, as it is becoming a norm of living.

Despite my genuine believe and determination, always, that no matter how dissatisfied some may be from my words, and no matter how my topics disturbed the slumber of those who hold safely in their places and positions, and no matter how arguable matters are, with agreeing or disagreeing with me in some opinion and position. No matter how divert the views are, we must always maintain and adhere to that safe line of space among us that maintains and protects our differences with acceptance, tolerance and respect. Because our differences should never spoil our issues, on the contrary it is with our difference that we nourish. Especially that we are a nation that is supposed to be living under occupation. Our differences should unite us not kill us.

My car was set on fire, and the act appeared to be an act of an experienced person who knew that he only reality that exist is his act and the fire he blew. The flames of fire that spread to eat iron in moments, as if it was the only truth present in this reality.

Terrorism and the burning of everything that could reach their hands.

I think about terrorism, which has become our homeland. Between action and reaction. There are those who are terrorized and there are those who are terrorists.

I try to exclude what happened from my memory. I want to burn those moments, sweep its ashes and throw it away from me. I feel infirmed, but I also feel their infirmity. Those weak, cowardly, lurking far away, hiding and protected by their clout, their power, their weapon and their blazing bottles.

The question still twirls inside me: Will being muzzled protect us from their terrorism?

Will our silence, kneeling, turning a blind eye from the leadership corruption protect us from their power, their brutality and their oppression?

If silence was a solution, I would be the first to remain silent.

But as my life is secure and my preservation depends on the lives of those close to me. And so, I must be careful, afraid, and terrified. Likewise, their security and a free dignified life is my duty. If we all remain silent in fear, and fear from being harmed, we will not have a place to live even with submission, because they will continue to oppress and violate.

Freedom begins and ends with the ability to express.

Yes … corruption is exorbitant, and the hands of the oppressor are long and extended. But whoever wants to rot by this corruption is free to rot. And because God has bestowed on me with a very strong sense of smell I cannot cope with rotten mold.

Truth is strength. The power of oppression and intimidation, no matter how long it last, remains invalid.

And this land has been a land of truth since God leveled it to be…. 

And I am the daughter of this land.

 

My state of justice

Something popped into my head as I was involved in some discussions about the possible solutions to our conflict. As my head is spurring from Plato to Dante, and my brain and emotions swift between the perfect state the consequences in a divine comedy, things seemed possible after all.
This could be a very unacceptable view for all sides. To avoid being judgmental and start with assuming that the other will not accept. I have to put my papers on the table directly, the first opponent to my idea was my daughter, then my sister, then my other daughter, then my other sister. To start with it was impossible to continue with explaining my smart evolutionary idea because after the second sentence my Palestinian fellow would jump and refuse to listen.
I kept tempting them, that if they continued to the end, it would be a great deal… but …no interest.
Something else I realized from my piloting to this idea for a few days with my fellow family members, a significant question we Palestinians need to face ourselves with, what do we want?
Do we want a Palestinian state with the Palestinian leadership, or do we want a Palestinian state with Israeli given civil services?
As the discussion exploded from its beginning with my daughter, I tried to prove myself right in cornering her with the civil services concerning sovereignty, and she was straight in saying that she does not want to be ruled by the Palestinian leadership, insisting that she did not choose this current leadership. They do not represent her.
What my daughter mentions is what the street feels as well. However, how do we make our choices? We want a Palestinian state; we need to be responsible for our decisions. We cannot create a Palestinian leadership from the perfect space. After all, these people are from us, and they are a reflection of our needs and desires… well.. they turn into nightmares… but they are ou choice… like a bad marriage.
There is a lot of what came out before I even went on with my magic solution. One can only imagine what the Israelis will think… I have to admit that I was biased because I started with the discourse in asking the Palestinians to accept what they don’t want to see… the legitimacy of the state of Israel in being.
Ok…
Let’s start with the common ground of how we want to achieve the just world- state. The united nations. I don’t also like the united nations, but there are some factors we cannot bypass. We Palestinians stand out to the world in every major and minor issue and ask for recognition and justice through the UN. We pray for the application of the UN resolutions starting from 181 and ending with the one that recognized us as a state.
One important thing we need to accept and work accordingly fully is that as this UN a resolution created the state of Israel within the real decision we want to apply.
Yes, creating a state for Jewish people on land that had people was not the best choice.. for the people who were there. And we those people did not make things very easy . but the UN created this resolution, we the Ottoman Empire lost the war because we the people helped in that loss. The Arabs wanted a revolution against them, and they got their nation states.
In between, some details are primary, but of course, we skipped… Belfour and the Zionist conspiracy … well, that Zionist conspiracy did not only compose of jews. From day one apparently, those imperialist and colonizing countries could not pass anything without the acceptance of the Arab leadership. Back then it was sheriff Hussein of Hijaz. Whether we like him or not, we approve him or not. We allowed him to get us the Arab nations we wanted … and of course, that should have been a good deal.. after all the Arabs were part of a losing falling empire.
We all know about Belfour promise to the jews, and we of course decline and refuse his pledge, yes it is true that it was a war and we were on the losing side, Britain was controlling the scene. They won we lost.
Not precisely we lost … because we wanted the ottomans to disappear. And they did…
It does not matter if we all agreed or not. It does not matter if many were against this. What matters is that those who bargained on the future of the people of the region were also from us.
Before one also tells me that who is Hussein of Hijaz? Well.. this was the choice of the famous hallucinating epic of what we know of Lawrence of Arabia.
This man not only represented us, but we followed him with his Arab revolution. So we are responsible.
Of course, who is we is another thing .. but here we have this historical collective responsibility.
Our enemy was not one … it was not Britain giving birth to Israel on our account only … Britain did this with the Arab leadership agreement.
Little we know of the agreement between Hussein and Weizmann in 1919 as Arabs. We don’t even know that this agreement existed. Of course, the man was tricked, and they gave him a translation of something and made him sign something else. But the man got an expensive watch and a car, and he wandered with them in the desert proudly.
We Palestinians were the sacrifice of the creation of the other four Arab nation states that Hussein was promised to have. The deal was closed and signed.
We the people did not know….
Is something else…
We the people did not change much since then.
I can imagine we applauded for Hussein and the Arab revolt, as much as we praised for Oslo.
Here again … the collective is responsibility, and it does not matter if we those who keep saying we did not choose chose or not … in the end, we accepted by not being strong enough to resist or say no…
Anyway, this is all history.
The un gave the jews a state, and they also gave us a statement on the same land.
Yes, we did not agree. And yes, we would not have accepted now … you don’t bring a stranger to my land and tell me he is my fellow new landlord… in the best scenario of course… because the colonial side of this was not the fellow landlord. He was here to be my landlord in my land.
Anyway…
We are in 2018, and all scenarios of possible states and no state solutions failed.
It is not also easy for me as a Palestinian to open my eye wide and admit that those Israelis are here and they are staying …and well.. they do have a narrative.
This narrative is getting stronger and more human.
Some twenty-thirty years ago, I was always superior to the debate, where are you form is the first question that takes my opponent out because he is likely to be from somewhere else before taking my land.
Now, Israelis my age have been born here. Their children are born here, their grandchildren as well.
In ten-twenty years when my grandchild ask an Israeli child where is he from, he and his father and his grandfather and maybe his great-grandfather are from here. If his great grandfather, for instance, is Netanyahu, he is very rooted he will think. ..and he is ….
Since my real belief stands on the grounds of justice, and justice for me will be based on three significant facts: two people, two states, on land.
Both people believe they have the right to be here.
Both people are here.
Both people want their state.
Both people should live on the same land.
I believe that there is space for everyone…
I know there is a problem,
Israelis want a Jewish state where all the jews can live
Palestinians want a Palestinian Arab state where all Palestinians can live.
Well.. we have a tip here, the un resolution 181 says this .. and they kind of split the land into two 48, or 49 percent to 52, or 53 percent will not be an issue when we all believe and decide that this land is for all of us.
We can have two states with separate governments in every city; each state will be given the same opportunities and resources. No borders will be assigned, each citizen of each country will be living in his same geographical place. I live in Jerusalem, I stay in Jerusalem, I receive the same services and benefits, and I pay my taxes, and I vote for my council that is Palestinian. And the Israeli will do the same to the Israeli side.
I live in Nablus, and Israeli lives in Ariel, the same. Two governates, councils, whatever we call them, and each citizen will belong to his government .palestinians for Palestine and Israelis for jews.
If Israel wants its state Jewish .. they are free to do this so that it will be Israel for the jews,
And Palestinians and Israeli Arabs will be with Palestine.
If I live in Haifa, I am a Palestinian living in Palestine. If the Israeli lives in Haifa, he is also an Israeli living in Palestine.
Each state will have its constitution where they will design the country they want.
So in the end, we will have, 20 million Jews, and 20 million Palestinians.
I still believe there is enough space for all. Refugees are free to come back to their original places. If the area is occupied a committee of reconciliation and compensation will be created to all those case. The committee is composed of a group of wise people from both sides.
Everyone is free to come and live here on the land of Palestine and the land of Israel in whatever we want to call.
One condition only,
Citizens of Palestine and citizens of Israel are only allowed to single citizenship.
You can only be Israeli or Palestinian. You can have other nationality, no dual citizenships in the state.
Those who want to live in this land with only one citizenship that belongs to this land Israel or Palestine are welcome….
I can only imagine who will want to stay and who decides to leave…
I think this is a real test for all those who claim their attachment and right to this land. We want national states … let’s go all the way.

This is a quite very old essay…. somehow many things changed since then. Brownie was kidnapped one time after the other… left to an unknown destiny and a grip from my side to write his Memoirs after yet another last rescue.

The president is still here.. sarcastically repeating same advocacy addressed to Others, and now as we are caged in one shrinking living Cantons.. he is struggling for his Party and his own escape Maybe… with yet another empty threat that nobody takes serious, and surprisingly , with a nation giving up to their kidnapper…. Somehow maybe, like Brownie, who gave up on us rescuing him from the never ending kidnaps.

 

My dog and the president ( a confused title for a confused situation)

My search for Brownie (the dog), reminded me of our failure as a nation. I was wondering like a fool probing for a “stolen” dog, that seemed appealing in the eyes of those youngsters inside a society, who stares at you with strange pathetic looks for looking for a dog.

I couldn’t but stop and think of how much of a schizophrenic nation we are. The same filches who crept it, come from the same people whose kids are probably hiding it in their house or neighborhood and feel disgusted seeing someone looking for a dog.

I don’t know if it is a total state of perplexity, or it’s the rush of jittered energy in my nerves that is making me connect this with Mr. Abbas interview with the Israeli TV, and saying his unflustered ’goodwill’ pledges and assertions to the Israeli audience.

He didn’t bother to come out to his nation on the municipality elections ( which is nonetheless a gravestone for our nationhood) and at least comfort us with anything . Or was he so assured, that the only audience that could have a real elections and he can address are the Israelis and that is why he addressed them?

I really wish to understand, what kind of consultation is he receiving and from whom???

One day he goes to the united nation and exploit Israel, and the next, maybe same day, he goes to the Israelis and he tries to get their sympathy and support??? For what?

Why would he think that the Israeli voters even think of him? Why would he ponder that whoever he is or whatever he says would assume the Israeli public opinion?

Or maybe , his consultants are affected with the American elections heat, and cogitate that his words will make any variance for the Israelis? And if so. For whom and against who? Who is our President in favor for? He wants to support the Israeli radical right or right right wings?

And he guaranteed that there would be no intifada during his time???? Of course he will do his best to avoid any intifada, because the only intifada will be against him.

It is such a calamity, that this so called leadership, not only has ragged us away from our land, but abolished what is left from the Palestinian Cause.

And Right of Return , and his right as a refugee … so what does he exactly mean , that as a leader he gives up the right of return , and as an individual he will claim this right as a refugee ?????

Seriously Mr. President … even the young burglar of my poor dog gave a more convincing alibi …

I can only pray for Brownie some Divine protection …. Like us Palestinians ….

2-11-2012

Image

Death the absent the present ….

To the good memory of my dear friend Omar Badrieh , May your soul rest in peace

In the hectic way of life . With all the strangely bad news that is moving around . One would say , it is all part of the movement of life . Death , accidents , disasters …happen all the time , but they don’t necessary touch us . within the circle of life, we think we are immuned from such disasters. Even though we know that death is happening anyway . but we are never prepared to it . we are prepared to be shocked on the news of the death of a far a way person , a relatively close person . we are prepared to see the news on the newspaper . But it always far from us and our beloved ones. It is always too far from us .

In the last few days, the news of the killing of the young men from differnet part of the nation made the maybe look closer ,as we scroll down the social media and stalk into what was their private walls that was only accessible to their friends .

I was still recovering from the shocking news of a dear person surviving a deadly accident , thinking of how unpredictable life is . how much of how we can be planning our days and years to realize that we may simply have no control even on a moment . To receive a still shocking news about the death of a woman , that even though I can say I briefly knew . But destiny made our life intersect since we were in the university , to meet her in a strange encounter where somehow divorced women maybe tend to connect . Admittingly saying , that I failed to help or support . To later intersecting with her ex-husband who becomes a dear friend . Whne some months ago , I received the news of his fatal disease that seems to be giving him a very little time left for life . Watching him from a cowardly position , being unable to contribute with real support or anything , just praying indepth for his safety and health .

He was organizing his death . wisely he believed. Making peace with his ex-wife. Securing her and the kids. Making the perfect plan for his departure, while pretending he was defeating a cancer that is eating him rapidly .

The compromise with his wife must have been not easy for both of them , but she must have thought . He is leaving soon , let it end peacefully and wisely for the sake of the kids .

When suddenly , and with no previous alert or notice , death strikes her not him .

How strange . How fair or unfair . How just or unjust . How timely or untimely.

How could it be? The angel of death wondering probably in that house waiting for the time of that man to end, and in a sudden, or probably a totally destined prepared detour he decides to take her not him.

How striking death can be.

As if death mocks us even when it leaves us totally stripped from our powers. When we are totally empty handed, muted, shocked.

It continues to move around, with its own set of plans. With its own set of pre-set list … and watch us carefully, patiently, mockingly as we roam around our meaningless life.

I wish you the Peace you wished to have Aswan. There must be a fair, just situation up there, in that unknown place called eternity.

May your Soul Rest in Peace

 

الزائر لمتحف محمود درويش يأخذ ربما توقعاته المحددة من المكان . المعرض الدائم بقاعة المتحف تأخذنا في جولة سريعة الى عالم الشاعر الكبير. قد تكون حياته التي أمضاها هكذا بهذه البساطة,سريعة بسيطة مقتضبة, تجعلك تجيب على تساؤلاتك نحوه. كيف كان خط يده وما القلم الذي كان يكتب به ومكتبه الذي كان يجلس عليه, وتلك السترة على المقعد بانتظار رجوعه ليلبسها. تفاصيل كثيرة تجعلك تفكر وكأن اختيارها تم برحلة ذهنية مع محمود درويش قد تمت للتو.

 ما الذي يريده زائر متحف محمود درويش اكثر من ذلك في مكان يمتلىء في كلماته وصوته وصورته من خلال شاشة؟

كزهر اللوز وأكثر … كما العبارات المختلفة التي لا يمكن الا التوقف امامها بايامنا العادية كفلسطينيين عند محاولاتنا بالتعبيرعنا بما لا تتمكن نفوسنا من التصريح به، لعدم المقدرة وعدم الوعي احيانا. بين تأمل لخط يده واطلاق عنان المخيلة للتخيل كيف جلس وفكر وكتب. خط يده يشبه مكتبه وقلمه وساعه واناقته. وكلماته تراوح في افق المكان ولا تتركك بينما تخرج الى فضاء المكان حيث يرقد في مثواه الاخير.

يستقبلنا من جديد او يودعنا، ولا تزال الكلمات تتراقص في الذهن في عبارة اخيرة تتركها وراءك في المعرض : “والارض تورث كاللغة”. وترجع لتخطف النظر من العبارات بينما تتأمل العلم الفلسطيني امامك وشجرات تظلل على الضريح لتفكر :قل للغياب نقصتني وانا حضرت لاكملك. تقف امام ضريح الشاعر الذي رحل وبقيت كلماته تزين فضاءنا ونتغنى بها كبارا وصغارا متعلمين أميين وصارت  كالأرض كما قال تورث كاللغة لشعب يحب الحياة متى وجد إليها سبيلا.

بينما تبقى الحديقة الكبيرة مكانًا للكثير من الإمكانيات ليجلس القادم او يتجول بها… ربما يحتاج المكان الى لمسات تبث الحياة فيه بعد ركود الشتاء.

كزهرة اللوز التي تتفتح بعد طول الشتاء لتبشر ببهاء الربيع يمكن لهذا المتحف ان يكون … وأكثر

When with grandmother time passes by with flooded emotions with mixed memories of a distant childhood … a whole life when this woman was somehow in the surrounding of my growing up . My facing to fears, my strength , my confidence , my external feelings of childhood that enjoyably insist on not growing and always play around.

Sometimes, words fail us in expressing the horror we witness.

The photo of today’s Palestinian young man’s corpse in Gaza- Khan Younis,

hanging from an Israeli Occupation bulldozer, only reflects the horrific reality of Israel.

In what seems to be a historical U-turn in the so called free world perception of democracy and justice. This is the democracy and justice of Palestinians under occupation .

This is how the inside of Gaza Auschwitz is lived.

As we are living this massive israelization to Jerusalem as never before, we are also witnessing a colossal thump on our national identity . We are torn into a Fateh and Hamas ,and the occupation is surrounding us expanding its colonies, israelizing our homes and roads, enclaving us with additional walls and barriers .

The world continues to watch, not daring to condemn, incapable of stopping an evacuation of a family that was deported from its original home seventy years ago, to be evacuated again into another Diaspora inside its own home . Another demolition. Another annexation. Another awaiting dispossession.

One misery after another , another Nakbeh inside jerusalem, inside the neighborhoods of Sheikh Jarrah, Silwan, and the list goes on . and a Nakseh inside every Palestinian, who instead of vowing over liberation, is torn apart in a heartrending domestic warfare between brothers .

The not very long time ago,  when the Palestinian society was comprised with a mixed structure of  different parties, inside the same family ,you would find a fateh and a hamas, a jabha and tahriri… and everyone was aspiring a day where we would be liberated, seems distant and an act of disbelief in time.

I am not explicit if our cause failed us or we failed our cause .

I am not definite if this occupation has really invaded us like a chronic cancer that cannot be cured . a cancer that will only kill us , or we can still resist .

Jerusalem is trailing its sanctification , settlers are plaguing it with all their capacity . a radical racist government is overpowering it by all means . We walk through roads that  transformed to Hebrew, the rail road is jamming us into marginalized neighborhoods, demolition orders, and demolitions. Evacuations , new settlements , each day another Israeli flag flies up from what was some moments ago a Palestinian roof.

Ultra-orthodoxed settlers mingling among Palestinians neighborhoods, settlements expanding, more buildings, more posts, new roads ,and one more time more suffocating details of oppression and injustices .

Netanyahu’s government continues racing with time , one more time forcing reality on the ground .

After failing to convince the world and the U.S to declare war on Iran , one more time succeeded in employing the settlements issues to their benefit . as the Israeli radicals are also preparing themselves to demonstrate the demonstrated removal of some out posts, the government is operating on an immense campaign to pinch what is left of Jerusalem .

And one more time alluding the world outside Palestine, in attempt to procure more time in enforcing new facts on the grounds. Jerusalem is enclaved with a hollow basin of construction. a railroad, a telephrique and more.

Each Jerusalemite today is struggling unswervingly this shrewd invasion of the occupation .

And nearby , a few kilometers away , in the liberated Authority of The West Bank , as if all is well and constant ,as if the occupation is over , as if the walls are detached, as if the settlements have vanished , as if and as if life is ordinary , there is only one enemy HAMAS .

And hamas, over there on the isolated island around the desert of despair is holding over a  two million people captives.

An occupation inside an occupation .

Fateh promising  another elections of anything…. it could be the Fateh of Ramallah elections in the Muqata’a as an option!! Half  the participants deem to become the next Palestinian leadership, and the other half anticipate that they will become a challenging number in the future power . and a few good men, working hard believing that there could be hope for a reform and change.

Of course, one major consensus, HAMAS , hamas brutality, hamas radicals, hamas fundamentalists, hamas abuses, hamas tortures ,hamas violations , hamas scandals ,hamas hamas hamas… Not Israeli occupation , not the Deal of the Century, not the Arab Normalization era.

And Hamas, in its new Emirate of Gaza, enjoying incapacitating, debilitating people , detaining , controlling.

Is there any worse scenario for a nation ?

The Israeli Occupation is impounding whatever is left of the land, ongoing with its occupation without remorse within Jerusalem, and Palestinians of Fateh and Hamas skirmishing over an authority in excess of a terrain that is no longer there …..because they boomed in making our cause again and again a mislaid cause.