A friend asked me to calm down and retreat from my critical aggressive writing about the PA. And I was thinking that being critical is still far from just criticizing. Of course this doesn’t work. In a world that being different in one’s opinion or idea makes you against and aggressive, being critical doesn’t differ from just criticizing.
Then I thought, what could a person do in responding to the news that we don’t invent. Just the news that politicians voluntarily and intentionally feed the media with? What should someone say in a situation when a president is still a president after a decade in which half of it he was saying he is leaving and he is not willing to re-elect himself? Hence, apparently, he meant by not willing to go for a re-election meant that elections would not take place at all.
What should a “sane” person do when he sees himself living inside a whirlpool of news that degrade him every single moment by occupation and under-grade every other moment by his own government?
How should we react to the accusations between to factions who officially rule us (despite the fact that neither is legitimate, since elections seems to be something out of the consideration of any side)?
It is t rues that condemning the occupation, and following its unconditional aggressions in all directions could be a lot and maybe more than enough for coverage, and can fill my writing skills anonymously.
While writing against the occupation may result in prison, writing against the PA may result also in prison, both Palestinian President and Israeli Prime Minister were racing their way towards the first row in Je sues Charlie demonstration.
Whereas, I still hope that nobody from both sides will take me to prison, because my “critical” views are probably confusing to both sides.
It comes to this level of feeling gay … when people ask me: “who are you with? “ I could satisfy the occupation when I speak critically of the PA, and I could satisfy Fateh when I speak critically of Hamas and vice versa, and I could satisfy both when I speak critically of Israel.
The issue is not here … and has never been.
When I write about Israel, I am not critical. I write about the occupation. It doesn’t bother a sweet heart or me if I am viewed as critical. When I write about Palestine, I write about me. I could be in a moment Hamas, and in a moment Fateh. I could be against one in a moment and the other in another. I am with Palestine.
With what makes Palestine stand for what it means inside me.
And to make it more confusing … I have no idea what Palestine stands for anymore. There is the Palestine I dreamt of liberating it as a child that carries that map on the kidnapped pendant by the Israeli border police when I was a child. There is the Palestine that resulted out of a generation of Oslo. A Palestine according to a road map of Bush, and a Palestine according the UN resolution.
It is mostly confusing, not to even care for that. Probably living in a situation witnessing the loss of lives on all levels… it feels and remains… that staying human is what counts and matters… and yes … it is damn hard.
It is a no sense …no sensibility state of affairs….