A déjà vu of a situation: liberation of a homeland and an identity.
I cannot but remind myself of those days of the first intifada when I watch what is going on in the different cities and villages of Palestine. And I cannot but confess my fear of the consequence in sabotaging the situation the way it was sabotaged almost three decades ago. Somehow, it is obvious that the fight for dignity can be led only by younger generation. If my generation was left to lead the situation, it is undoubtly that our situation today will be better. But my fears are still the same, those who will take the lead in this current uprising will be those who have no idea what it means to resist. To fight for your very own existence on a checkpoint and face coercion and oppression every single possible chance of your existence.
Their children do not become martyrs, and they lead the demonstrations from isolated and secured rooms.
But looking into these young faces of demonstrators and martyrs, I cannot but see a generation that became my son. I seem y son’s face in every young man, and I admit as well, that I don’t want him to be there. Not because I believe he is more worthy of life than the others. I actually don’t see anyone worthy of life more than my children. I did bear in my heart for a lifetime, the meaning of sacrifice to this land. To the very identity, to the every existence, until I realized that the losses we pay as a nation doesn’t go for our own victory as people in the face of oppression, but goes to agendas of people who could carless about the losses of human beings that take place.
I admit that I don’t want to be a mother of a martyr under a situation where a corrupt leadership will come and use the corpse of my son as a trophy to its collections of personal benefits that never serve the people who are sacrificing their lives.
If there is any winning situation out of this, it will be that the parents of those who are perishing would be those who will sit for any kind of negotiations. It is the right of those people to say what thye want out of the sacrifice of their very own children.
But as the numbers are increasing in losses of beautiful young lives, the politicians who are hiding behind their secured offices are starting to count the victories for an upcoming negotiation scheme. Like zombies awakening from a long tight sleep, they start haunting the air with their deceitful smells and schemes.
Would this new fresh blood of Palestinian youngsters realize what my generation didn’t realize? Would thye realize that the inborn leadership that they were bred in its own education wont brings them the liberation that my generation aspired?
The whole concept of liberation has changed today.
What is the liberation they think of? The gap between the two generations and that generation that negotiated made it impossible to realize even one dream of a fixed term of a nation. A homeland.
I assume that this generation’s dream of liberation is as old as that of mine. A liberation of a human being. A sense of freedom. A sense of living normally. A life with no humiliation and degradation. A life was dignity and pride don’t get confused and dehumanized on every checkpoint and border.
Sadly, the dream of a homeland has evaporated … and luckily. A dream of a Palestinian who is fighting for his own identity is still resisting