how far can far be ?

The university administration decided to make all the possible precautions to avoid any possible interaction that may result of demonstrations across the road and along the wall.

I have to admit that along the years, I came to coexist with the wall surrounding the panoramic view with the Apartheid Wall that separates Jerusalem hills from the Jerusalem’s old city’s walls.

A wall within a wall, and somehow that maneuvering curbing structure of the cemented apartheid wall that separates Palestinians from Palestinians, became a part of how the view is. I am shy to say, that I like it.

Looking towards the scene of Jerusalem where everything behind that wall seems distant and allows the eye to romanticize with the image. Crossing the hill and almost touching the cloud.

Well… I am not meant to live in harmony with the new “nature” giving views. Because the university administration walled us to avoid more aggression and destructions to the school with an ugly steel fence that obstructed the scene of the panorama of the hill with the wall.

The daily trip inside the campus to the office has been really like working in the UN headquarter in Kabul.

Anyway. I shouldn’t be complaining, as I am trying to figure out what is happening across the street, only smelling smoke and maybe tear gas with a sneaking preview of children collecting stones.

As much as usual, what happens inside the small cantons that each of our lives in, the same occurs in the bigger townships of this occupied life.

This morning, tension accompanied the atmosphere as I was driving to the university, seeing military cars in different sizes and uniformed Israelis with different colors spread around the road to Anata. I realized later that, they are attempting to destroy a martyr’s house in Shufat Refugee Camp.

The house they want to demolish is the house of “Atari,” a martyr from last year’s occurrences.

I was thinking…. Still occupied with the cloud of smoke covering the sky in front of my window…

Netanyahu met Abbas at the climate conference. As if all is solved and now it was time for climate issues to be resolved.

I wonder what Abbas does in such a conference. He seems to be like regular people like me, who goes to every meeting or event they are invited to as long as it is paid and outside the country. Of course, Abbas doesn’t care about those simple details of who pays, but he seems to take a chance in every single opportunity to leave the country.

I understand him completely actually.

This is every Palestinian way of survival. It is, of course, a privilege to some.

Seeing Abbas posing happily with Netanyahu as if he just caught up with an old friend felt too much for a Palestinian whose university needs to put her inside a security bunker-like because nobody can protect her and her peers when the Israeli occupation contaminates the sky with tear and nerve gas. When the sound bullets become part of nature’s noise. When another bullet is just a normal occurrence.

Is Abbas there to applaud for Netanyahu’s victory in contaminating and poisoning even our air?

I was still thinking talking to myself  …

Is this morning attempted invasion to Shufat refugee camp and demolishing a house was a special gift to Abbas from Netanyahu. Making sure from the latter, that Abbas doesn’t take his smile more than that of courtesy?

As I was also thinking on the way, seeing all those military appliances and uniforms. How mischievous are we (Palestinians)? What do we expect from them? After all, everyone is terrorized including us. Those young soldiers, a beautiful looking young woman standing to freeze on the junctions with fine young soldiers, should have been in the university enjoying her time or reading a book. They should be at rage with us for making them live like this. A constant state of attempting to secure a security issue.

And then as I learned that they were trying to enter the refugee camp to demolish a house I thought …

These people want trouble. They provoke trouble. They want to make sure that stress is maintained.

It is not just the concept of demolishing a house that leaves people with despair and total loss of the idea of security within the household. Not to mention the loss of memories and properties. Life in the refugee camp, especially in Jerusalem is the worse regarding services. One will never understand how harsh and dehumanizing occupation is until he visits this camp. Houses are practically built to make bridges across the roads. More than ten thousand people live in a few kilometers. It is so condensed. I am not exaggerating when I say that it is hard to even breath when you are there. The demolishing as an act to punish the family whose son or husband or father has made the attack has already experienced loss of the human himself, so destroying their house is not a punishment. I believe these people live in an eternal act of numbness after such loss. This is a penalty for the entire town. Aside from all the illegal structures that are barely holding it together; demolition in such areas will affect in depth the already non-existent infrastructure.

When mentioning this area. Inside Jerusalem. I also want to stress that this is a field in which sewage is practically running in the street. People are forced to pay taxes to live there.

This all coincides or doesn’t … with the court ruling to the killers of Mohammad Abu Khdeir from last year. The court ruled that the killer was mentally disordered and that was why after given ten years (maybe more) in prison, decided that he shouldn’t enter prison because he is crazy.

Well. Until this moment. More than ninety percent of Israeli criminals who killed Palestinians were found stupid.

After many months of the Dawabshe’ family burning, they finally found the killers.

The controversy in the double standards of how Israel deals with the Palestinians is not just unjust, unequal, racist, and all those. But it seems that it intends to provoke the situation towards more violence. They want Palestinians to go out and kill themselves in the attempted knife rebel of oppression.

The more Palestinians hold knives, the more Palestinians are killed, and the more victory Netanyahu achieves and is fulfilled.

In the meantime…

Netanyahu and Abbas must have also taken a cocktail together .. celebrating Netanyahu’s victory in destroying Palestinian lives. Properties and on the occasion of the conference.. climate.

And Abbas is, of course, happy achieving a new goal in his CV .. he participated in the Climate conference…

Damn this life of cynical tragedies.

I better run back home before tear gas gets to my lungs and Co2 cools my already dark skin.

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