Mom… officially architect
That was the message my son left to me today.
I knew he was graduating, of course. But the fact that it was officially over felt different.
If there is a miracle in life… Abdelnour becoming an architect is one of them.
If miracles are related to the impossible, to the dreams that are way too far to be dreamed: that was the journey of Abdelnour as a child… as a student…as a human being.
I, the mother, however, out of all my unfulfilled, left behind dreams, knew that this boy was born to become an interior architect. It did not take a mother’s heart or aspiration to see that; it was apparent. Ever since he was three, four, fourteen, twenty-four, the way he had an eye, a touch, a creative impulse on style was remarkable; the efficiency in moving things, creating, recreating, was something that cannot go unnoticed.
How many times did I come home to find everything in a different fantastic order? Each time before I am about to scream out in awe, another look at what just took place would take me in total amazement.
It was unbelievable how he would move hefty furniture that needs a minimum of two or three on his own when he was just less than a meter tall.
However, Abdelnour was not like any other child, he was an ADHD with learning difficulties that exceeded the regular. It was an exhausting, impossible sometimes journey of a lifetime. A real-life of a human being that struggled so much in childhood to be just normal.
I remember a specific time when he had to do a dictation; he was knocking on his forehead with frustration: I see it all here, but I cannot write it down.
How this amazing charismatic outgoing little boy slowly became withdrawn, inverted for the mere fact that he cannot do the regular of others: reading, writing.
A struggle in a school that did not know what it means, or noticing the difference between struggling in a new language (as he was not a francophone) or such a case of difficulty.
All this caught inside a troubled horrific divorce—a search for a school. A journey of schools where he can adapt.
From a school to another we looked around, begged as if caught in plague. It was a harsh journey in seeing a hideous side of educational institutions. It was a very hard lesson in classes in this society. It was like roaming in a maze, no start, no end, impossible to get anywhere.
I will always be thankful to one man, a real educator, Nabil Kayyali, the director of the Bridge school who opened the doors t Abdelnour when all others were closed.
He also believed what I saw in Abdelnour. I guess he trusted the heart of the mother that I was. Or maybe he was just a man full of mercy.
In times when you see the whole world giving up on you. We were so often left in despair. He almost gave up on himself each time to remind me: “Mom sometimes I think it is your belief of me that is true not what I am really capable of. Maybe it is all just your wishful thinking.”
A struggle that will permanently mark a hole-like effect in our life. I was always blamed for inventing ADHD and him struggling to cope usually.
It took him a miraculous turn out, I would say, when he admitted to himself that he has ADHD. Only then was he able to cope. To face his difficulties. To realize his potentials. To believe that he is the unique person that he truly is.
The independent young man that he became by then refused but to take his journey on his own. He dared to face his teachers and say: I am an ADHD I need support. Only then doors opened. Teachers in the university spotted his uniqueness in such a specialty known to only the best can survive it. Of course, it takes a character like Abdelnour to add charm and fun to everything. Creativity remains a key to who he is.
I know well he managed his way through the playful person he is. A maneuver I watched ever since he was a little. A tactic for survival.
I am standing at this moment with gratitude to God… for not letting go of us.
I am standing with so much proudness of Abdelnour, who made it all the way to become an architect… to become what he was born to be…. to realize his inner dreams.
People with ADHD are people chosen by God with a slight bit of a bias, with a Gift that is only granted to only the more special ones of His creation.