A diary on Occupation : Erasing Memories

Erasing memories

I couldn’t avoid watching this series on TV Palestine, for Maher Shalabi from Palestinian Refugee Camps and bypass it from my mind like any tv show. From the first day, of Ramadan, the show was broadcasting, reflecting a harsh reality that only continues to get bitter and sour.

Maybe the host’s immediate response to what he is witnessing makes it easier for us to watch and react, because we distinguish him reacting, even when attempting to keep pragmatic, we can’t but undergo his bitterness.

Palestinian Refugees are a continuous transgression for humanity. For more than sixty years, our leaderships, governments, aid organizations, peace, and political activists and organizations rushed to try to find a solution for these people and often if not always soliciting on their accounts. Each is prospering on his way ………on the back and lives of these people.

And they ; stripped from not just a town or a village, a home or a shelter, but from identity.

I look into those faces and observe their thrash about refreshing that memory for what once was a dream of a home, of a homeland.

Besieged to remember a name of a city or a town or a neighboring village. An older generation of traumatized and shattered down dreams and constant nightmares of a nonending wretchedness. A younger generation who scarcely apprehend that a Palestine exists … knowing only the despondent HERE they live in. In a situation likely portrayed as something coming from a dusk division of an ancient past, where the sixty years never moved.

Memories of a past erased with an unfortunate reality existed for a little survival for instances. Memories of a nation that would rather not exist …

Because to those faces, if it existed they wouldn’t be living in this uncomfortable reality.

Nadia Harhash

29-8-2010

A diary on Occupation : Feeling Nakba

I look around and wonder if it is just a foggy day or month or year or decades of my life as a Palestinian … holding up tight within myself waiting desperately for a clear day … just an average day when I will wake up and look at the sky and see it bright. Look at the sun and see it shine…look at the trees, the flowers and watch them moving in their destinies lively dance. Waking up one day to the Palestine I grew up thriving to have… to the Palestinian cause that was injected into our veins. To join the rally of humanity .. to feel normal.. to feel human .. to feel belonging to the human race…

But instead. I wake up not knowing if it is another dusty day .. if the sun that shines in the morning will keep its warmth to the night…

An ugly reality of our lives.. a nation that has been so fragmented when each one of us became a nation of his own. Palestine became a single unit for each. Each one of us has his own Palestine, with its people, its government, its ministers. It is not the Palestine we were raised to have.. it is not the Palestine we thrived to liberate…

It is a Palestine that is injected with egocentric needs and personal interests, and anything else is the enemy…

A day, a month, a year, six decades… of crying over a loss of a land, of a diaspora of a nation, of imprisonment of a population, of occupation…. And yet… we fail to have a single voice for reconciliation … we carry on to a black fog of authority that exists on personal interests and draining every single vein of its people … a mist that certifies.. each single moment the death of Palestine.

Yes… this is Nakba.

17-5-2012

A diary on Occupation : Forbidden Reflection

I was listening to some news about the Israelis renewed the attempt to demolish the Mughrabi Gate and the installation of the new bridge, in preparation to create a museum or whatever…under the tunnels… and somehow behind all the political games of occupation and attempts of seizing more control over Jerusalem and AL-Aqsa and everything else. And somehow behind the reality that Israel wants to shake the grounds under the Aqsa. And somehow also that Israel works within a matrix of control as well in the surrounding of the old city, and this attempt would increase the possibilities of seizing the area at any needed time. There lies a good thing behind the current excavations and tunnels that are unveiling what the Israeli calls as the Torah city. And that what disturbs me when I hear our closed circle defense and shallow calls for defending the Place. The fact that there is a Torah city that existed thousands of years ago is only a complement to the greatness and authenticity of this town. The ignorance of the Israelis in trying to make a myth about their history and forcing it into a new reality that denies our existence is a mere act of ignorance and panic. And the fact that we Muslims deny the existence of a two or three thousand years of history where Jewish people lived, and that life was under the earth of the modern Jerusalem is also ignorance.

I really cannot understand that we have to fight against the findings of the city under the current city. It is part of our history as people of this land. It is part of our history of monotheists. It is part of our history as human civilization as well.

And admitting, recognizing, acknowledging, whatever term we might use, the presence of these people (the Israelis) in this land, doesn’t take our rights in it. The Islamic Jerusalem (Christian as well) cannot be denied. It is all there standing up high and proud, and deeply rooted and evolved despite three thousand years of history of various people who lived , resided or existed and continued to live on this land.

Paulo Freire says in the pedagogy of the oppressed: “It is only the oppressed who, by freeing themselves, can free their oppressors. The latter, as an oppressive class, can free neither others nor themselves. It is, therefore, essential that the oppressed wage the struggle to resolve the contradiction in which they are caught; and the opposition will he determined by the appearance of the new man: neither oppressor nor oppressed, but the man in the process of liberation. If the goal of the oppressed is to become fully human, they will not achieve their aim by merely reversing the terms of the contradiction, by just changing poles.”

When would it be time, when we rise for who we truly are, and just acknowledge our existence without denial of the others? When we get there, we can end our vicious occupation, or at least can manage it as human beings, not as dehumanized people.

18-4-2012

A diary on Occupation : Israeli Permits

Permits to Israel

Israeli government allowing Palestinians from the West Bank to enter Israel in the last weeks, seemed like an appalling out of the ordinary phenomena to both Palestinians in and out the borders of permits.

I don’t know why are we surprised that people from the West Bank are dashing to the sea, or shopping in the malls. There is a whole Palestinian generation that doesn’t know how the sea looks like.

Unless you’re wealthy enough to travel to the East Bank and the West. Lest you are privileged enough to belong the PA VIP category of magnetic permits to Israel, or you are lucky enough to work on a project with an international NGO and can get a free training and trip here and there; you are among the two million and so Palestinians (excluding Gaza of course) in the West Bank who don’t know how life outside the wire fences, concrete walls and delimited checkpoints look like. Any life behind that border became a fantasy.

It doesn’t matter why the Israeli government issued such unprecedented numbers of permits. Whether it was to get more benefits as usual; such as the economic cash flow that such a movement of people allowed or any kind of maneuver Israel as usual as good ploys. What is definitely true is that Israel’s economics will not improve because of this month money that was spent by Palestinians in Israel. Israel’s plans and moves are sad to say, are far from what we see or want to know. Israel has transformed us into passive reactionaries instead of being not active planners, but merely ordinary observers, who lost the capacity of seeing beyond our moment. We even miss the moment.

I have been reading and hearing about “their” substantial passageway towards Jerusalem (Israel). We already became “us” and ‘them,” another sub-category of the “we “ and “them,” which makes “them” sub-category of “ we,” because we originally have a whole category of “them” relating to the Israelis.

Why do we find it so absurd, that people are flowing on the sea-shore of the Mediterranean? What do we want from “them” and “them” (the sub-category of one of the categories)?

Do we want “them” to stay roaming inside the barbed wires and cemented walls?

Do we want “them” to keep “them” locked up in what looks like ghettos?

We want everyone or boycott Israel, except us. Israel is as much vital to “them” as much as it is to “us.” Among us, as well, those who would boycott Israel, if they exist, are only those who are extremely tolerant, aware, educated and productive. IF you are not someone with such a characteristic, then you cannot boycott Israel, because otherwise, you are entirely dependent on “them.”

Boycotting need a clear strategy with a clear, viable vision, with achievable objectives and sustainable goals and a work plan that can be accomplished. People are not just things that can be controlled by a remote control, with on and off buttons.

What should we expect from people who watch their operating government drowning in dysfunctional apparatus, stinking with corruption, totally bankrupted?

One day the whole nation is set for boycotting, on the evening of the very same day, whoever announced boycotting announces meetings for negotiations.

Those patriots who call for boycott, have the privilege of making their announcements from coffee shops in Ramallah who sell coffee for $5 and attend seminars in Europe every next month or week sometimes. And have magnetic permits that allow them to enter Israel whenever they wanted.

And “Israel” who always benefits from our continuous failures, I sincerely thank “them” for allowing “them” to have a breeze out of the ghettos, even if “they” spent their year savings, or took loans in Israeli markets …

22-8-2012

today is histor…

today is history , and tomorrow is mystery ….and we are amateurs in fate’s planned destinations…

The best you ca…

The best you can get out of a dead man walking is forest gump

When this line …

When this line of trust breaks in a relationship , nothing remains .. it would be only some time left until all falls apart , exactly like a chain of beads , when it breaks , its over ….

The worse prese…

The worse present is that with no hope for a future ….

I thought that …

I thought that stop loving you means that I will stop needing you … I didn’t realize that I need you because I love you

Israeli writer…

Israeli writers write with a strong “I” , and it makes their writings powerful. However, in no way you can call their writing as spiritual… it is the kind of writing that speaks to the SELF but not to the SPIRIT

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