Facebook is doing an interesting thing called shared memories. so today they decided to share my memories on Facebook on this day … i have to say it felt appalling to see how nothing has changed except for a deterioration that has been deteriorating

so like this day in 2009 , i wrote this ,

Five years since the death of Arafat , and the desire or the anticipation of a better circumstances only deteriorated. Predictions were that the PA will be destroyed after his death . first Gaza, then whatever is left from Jerusalem , and today, probably a very close tomorrow it will be the whole West Bank.
I can’t but feel empathetic with Abu Mazen , it is easy to blame him for all , but we all know that the occupation is far more vicious than his good intentions . A smarter friend of mine told me that the path to hell is paved with good intention , and apparently this is the case with Abu Mazen .
Since the serious show offs of where the negotiations where leading , there should have been a decision for dissolving the PNA . I do however, agree with the opinion that says that the establishment of the PA is a real achievement , I look at is as a regular citizen , who passes through the streets of the West Bank and enjoy seeing building and structure that the occupation always prohibited us from having . In Jerusalem we live and taste occupation as we breath it in our air . as childish as it could be, listening ot the Palestinian anthem in the football games and in any other national event makes me cry and fulfilled.
But the occupation is still there , and there can’t be sovereignty with occupation. We got busy in building infrastructure without basis . it is even worse, our PA is like a construction that is built on a cracked building .
In the past few days we have been hearing so many announcements, so many major declarations, that proclaiming them would require the least enormous attempts of strategizing to even pronounce not implement , however, our leadership in all its divisions was announcing all those declarations, confusing us and the world even more .
The Unilateral Declaration of the Palestinian State TACTIC , the threatening of a Third Intifada TACTIC , the Mofaz New Peace initiative TACTIC , and of course Abu Mazen’s threats not to re-elect himself TACTIC , Abu Mazen threat to resign TACTIC and parallel to all these disturbing moves , we have all the Israeli TACTICAL TACTICS.
I haven’t heard so far , the maybe only one advantageously tactic that should be exploited , which is dissolving the PNA. It is of course a real threatening tactic, maybe the most intimidating of all, however, all used shapes of tactics that everyone has been pouring on us will lead us in the direction of it in next to no time .
It is very gloomy to utter it stridently , or even admit, that the PNA is deceased . They seized our dream of a homeland to an implementation of an authority that lacks all means of ability except being authoritarian . constructing a demo-land that can’t even look as dreamy as a sand castle that a child can enjoy after building for a few moments or even minutes .
It is a thrash about for whatever is left for those people who are holding so firmly to their positions . As sad as it is , this goes from the president to the guards . We are all now struggling for the survival of our interests of what the PNA provided us . We put out of our mind that our struggle is building a State ,and we ignored that building a State can’t be resumed or even started without ending the occupation .
Would we ever learn from any history ? I doubt it .. history and present are surrounding us with patterns that only inform us and confirm to us that we are only heading towards the end . The closing stages which comprise our ends inside as well .
Should we go back to the first line of our struggle, to the real means of resistance ? We should . But could we ? When we were nourished on the means of relying on the survival that the PNA can provide us ?When we seem to have forgotten the sacrifices, the pain, the martyrs, the national cause and the land itself?
Maybe we need to redefine what we really want . What is a state , What is independence, What is homeland, what is sovereignty , and then we can decide where we are heading .
It is such a dark tunnel that they got us all stuck in . we lost even the dream … we definitely lost any hope …
It is only dark … and darkness seems to be appalling maybe for an eternity ….
Nadia Harhash
21-11-2009


One thought on “memories of a past that insist to stay

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