A debate on love: me, my mind and my heart

My words are as confused as my emotions

Writing or not writing

In this language or that language

The medium between my mind and hand

Is in a snoozing mode

I love you I want to say

But my mind asks me to withdraw

Stop it

It says

Love?

Love needs time

Needs space

Needs the means

Requires the knowledge

Needs you to be ready

It declares

You cannot be in love with a click

My mind warns in vain.

I bring myself to a halt

I retreat

I go and caress my waiting in a fuss heart.

We need to calm down I say

She (mind) has a point after all.

You cannot just declare love to someone who was just a stranger yesterday

My heart shrinks

My words retreat

I collect my poems

My prose

My sentences I have been daily composing and throw them away

It is not time

I declare

I close my eyes

I sneak into my disappointed heart while my victorious mind is at a winner’s rest

It’s not time

I try to rationalize.

When is time?

He (heart) looks at me with awe

I don’t know.it is just not time.

It is not right. Love ends in pain

And you cannot afford more pain

A statement I lay down with confidence

I feel amazed by my shrinking heart

Cuddled in despair

With all the injuries love and its consequences have each time caused.

Struggling for breath with the disappointing discourse

It is love that makes me handle this pain

It is this assumed pain that makes us heal

Imagine our life without pain

My heart looks at me with tears

Surrendering to my will

Or so I thought

It is love that drives us into finding that hidden path of existence.

It is with love, and it’s disappointments that we can make sense of the difference.

My heart is philosophizing while my mind is snoring in its victory.

I look at me

My eyes give me a gaze

You are in love it confirms.

I escape or my childish smile

Mockingly saying

Ok.

I am in love …

How worse could it be?

Published by nadiaharhash

Exploring my own Shoes ... somehow my walk , my way ... Being a woman is one thing . One important thing of originally two things. However, living in a global patriarchal dominance makes one thing dominant of another . A lifetime struggle of women resilience for being the one thing they are Women . All the resilience of being a woman is another ONE thing . For being a Moslem woman is another thing . Being a Moslem woman living in an Occupied land is definitely a totally other thing. What if you add divorce to this ? Being a Woman, a Moslem , a Palestinian and Divorced … makes the introduction to living in my shoes… Living in a Shoe of a Woman. PS. English is not my first language.. I know I often need to edit , however, there is something in the power of the 'click send' button.. ever since I did it the first time .. I enjoy clicking directly from my heart...unedited...

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5 Comments

  1. Lovely introspection, milady…. It’s a tough decision, isn’t it? Balancing mind and heart is our hardest task….

    Always a joy to read your thoughts….

    gigoid

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