I wake up and I am finally admitting, closing a chapter of a whole year : I am 46!

No more fear of the number 4 and whatever comes before and after it. No more place for playing with numbers. Any switch , lift, flip will just make it worse. 

I don’t have to think anymore of how hard it is to be fortish … 46 . Not in the middle or even the beginning .. I have to prepare myself to a new number . I am getting closer to 50.

Well… This is the best way in not thinking about the real issue of aging … I am looking forward a decade of achievements when I turn 50.

Baaaaaaa

Ok… I am finally in peace with this 4 in my age …

Apart from the real freaking feeling of ‘ oh my god I am old’ I have to say that it feels great to be 46 . It really feels good to think of the coming cycle of a decade in my age . 

I am looking at myself and think : I am getting somewhere in life where I can stand up and reflect on what I have done And accomplished . I can look at myself and think : oh girl u knock !. I can forgive myself for all my mistakes and sins and flaws and finally embrace it all and say : well all this made me the wonderful person I am!( it is a leo trait I cannot help) 

I can look around and feel people with their energies . I can determine whom I want and whom I don’t want in my surrounding. I can snore in my own pace without feelin bothered or embarrassed . I can look at myself naked in the mirror and embrace my traits of burdens and maturity. I can wear a bikini and think : who cares , what is wrong with a torn out stomach and stretch marks that tattoos my skin . I can be proud with losing weight and I can just swallow my extras with fulfillment .

I can look at myself and say : your life is damn hard. You are loved . You are hated . You provoke . You inspire . You make many jealous . You are a pain in the ass . You are unbelievable . You are stupid . You are naive . You are human … Embrace it all and get dressed… 

I am thankful for all the blessings that I can finally see with every blink … My children .. Myself … My family… My friends … My writings… My life ..


2 thoughts on “Turning 46
  1. Happy belated birthday. I’m married to a Leo. You know it is the sign of the heart, why you feel so much. Enjoy these days. Before you know it, it seems the snap of a finger, 20 years will pass! You have much to feel good about. You are wise and insightful to recognize all your strengths and contributions. I’m happy WP brought you into my life. And continue to wish you and yours a wonderful life. As I daily pray for peace and justice in your home and this whole suffering planet.

    Liked by 1 person

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